thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
