at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
