Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
