And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
