I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
