I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
