I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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