definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
