Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
