Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
