i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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