Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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