he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
