Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
