hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
