youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
