Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
