I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
