and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize