He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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