If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
