Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
