They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
