I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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