So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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