you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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