I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
