spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
