Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
