I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
