You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
