I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
