Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
