I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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