If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize