whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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