a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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