I'm really into asian looking animals
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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