Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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