So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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