the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize