Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
