Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
