i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
