During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize