I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
