idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
