the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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