If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
