Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize