He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
