please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
