if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
