The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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