New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
