she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
